An unexpected miniature-bloodbath mid-sex is never ideal. Unfortunately, it’s something I know all too well. When it happened to me, I was able to quickly rule out the usual suspects: my period had ended over a week prior, and no, this wasn’t some dramatic “popped my cherry” moment. So if it wasn’t either of those, what the hell was going on? And more importantly, was bleeding during sex something I should be worried about?

At first, I felt alone. None of my friends could relate to finding a bloody fingerprint on their pillow after sex (yes, really). I started to worry something was wrong with me. I didn’t know what it was or how to address it. It didn’t happen every time, but after the second unexpected gush, I was officially on the hunt for answers.

As it turns out, bleeding during or after sex is surprisingly common, and not always cause for alarm. Around 9% of women experience this at some point, and the most frequent reason is vaginal dryness, often due to insufficient arousal. The vagina naturally lubricates in response to arousal, but certain factors (like menopause, breastfeeding, or even overuse of vaginal douching) can disrupt that process.

But none of those explanations really applied to me. So I started thinking more critically about the specific situations when I’d bled during sex. That’s when it hit me: every single time, I hadn’t felt entirely comfortable communicating with my partner about what felt good to me. And, honestly, I hadn’t enjoyed the sex. That was it. My body wasn’t on board, and it let me know.

Of course, not every case is so straightforward. Bleeding during or after sex can stem from a wide range of causes, some minor and others more serious. These include:

• Infections like yeast infections, STIs, or pelvic inflammatory disease (PID)
  

• Hormonal factors, including those related to birth control or a mispositioned IUD
  

• Physical conditions, like cervical ectropion, uterine prolapse, uterine polyp, cervical polyp, ovarian cysts or vaginal trauma
  

• Hormonal shifts at the start or end of a menstrual cycle
  

• Less commonly, precancerous changes or cancers of the cervix, uterus, or vagina
  

If the bleeding is persistent, painful, or unexplained, it’s important to check in with a healthcare provider to rule out anything serious. That said, it’s worth emphasizing that the more severe causes are relatively uncommon. In many cases, the answer lies in simply tuning into your body and honoring what it’s trying to tell you.

So if this happens to you: don’t panic, don’t be ashamed—and definitely don’t ignore it. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or a mix of both, bleeding during sex is worth investigating, with curiosity and compassion.